19.7.08

The News

December 2006
I had been married to the love of my life for 10months. Pregnant for 7 months... I have never been this happy in my life. We had found out that we were going to have a baby boy and we were thrilled. Life couldn't have been any more perfect. Then I got a call from my OB Doctor one day and he said that my routine blood test came back with high white blood cell counts. I asked him what that means and he explains to me that my white blood cell count was about 10 times higher than normal. I still have no idea what this means... Then he tells me that I might have Leukemia.

Leukemia...  He says that he wants me to go get my blood tested again. I hang up the phone and look at my husband. "What's wrong? he asked... I tell him " Honey Dr. said that I might have Leukemia."  As soon as that word escapes my mouth I burst into tears. I can't believe what I was just told. Just before that phone call I was talking and laughing with my hubby in our kitchen counter. What had just happened? Is this for real?

Early next morning my husband and I drove into the clinic that my OB Dr. sent us. It had this big huge sign on the building that read CANCER CENTER. I stare at the word cancer... my eyes are getting watery again. My husband grabs my hand and I swallow back my tears and walk into the builing. After taking some blood tests we meet with the doctor. She tells us that I have leukemia. We come home and we both break down in tears. I have never seen him cry like that before. Seeing him cry breaks my heart, but seeing him trying so hard to hold back his tears to be strong for me breaks my heart even more. His mother had passed away with cancer when he was young. I can't believe I'm putting him through this again. All I could think about at that moment is not my life, not the baby's life but my husband. More then the fear of death, the tought of  leaving him alone with a new baby is unbearable. I don't want to do that to him... we were supposed to grow old together. A few days later the results were in and I was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML). I felt like I was hit by a car. And so begain my life's journy with cancer.

No comments:

Post a Comment